The gift of gab can be learned, but it involves more than just words. True smooth talkers master a range of elements that culminate in a complete performance.
Thus there should be good emotions involved. You want the other person — or people — to walk away having learned something, felt a great connection with you, and gained more respect for your character. What to talk about depends on the environment, the context, the people. The occasional anecdote can be great if the context is right for it. But going in with pre-fabricated conversations can backfire, because a good conversation is dynamic. Conversations are note speeches. What matters most is being able to start a conversation, then keep it going no matter where it goes.
Context is everything with a conversation. The ability to make the conversation interesting depends on your familiarity with the context, whatever it may be. There is one secret that I learned to developing good conversational skills, but it is not in and of itself the answer, only a force that propels you. So, to start, I will teach you a system to learn how to smooth talk like a pro. If followed properly, people will seek out your company, because they know the value and the positive motions that will follow in the wake of your presence.
The fundamentals of conversation include your vocal tonality, your vibrato, your cadence, your rhythm of speaking, your volume — every aspect of the voice as an instrument.
How to be smooth with the ladies
But a complete presentation involves more than just the voice. Everything that can be felt, seen, and heard needs to be considered. For example, facial expressions and body language. We have plenty of help here on Girls Chase — articles on how to get a sexy voicebetter posturegood body languageand intriguing facial expressions. And all these things are developed through practice like everything else in this article.
Even the best conversation can fall apart at any moment. So you must keep it moving. Transitions must adapt to the interest of the parties involved. To decide whose interest to follow first, you must determine the goal of the conversation. Transition into a conversation they find interesting. Their interests can be quickly identified by noticing where they tend to steer the conversation.
Do they talk a lot about a certain topic? Do they get enthusiastic when a topic comes up? Dive deeper — we have a term for that. Deep diving. Dive deeper into something when you sense enthusiasm.
If a topic elicits enthusiasm, get those flippers on. Why the switch? You obviously loved studying literature!
You can talk about what interests you, but if you're in a group, it really helps to be a high-ranking member or, if you just met them, they already respect you a lot. Again, this comes down to fundamentals and your ability to enrapture an audience. But a lot of conversation is fluff talk, the purpose of which is to keep the conversation light and floating. Deep diving should be done only when well-timed i.
I can teach you the general nature of how to do it, but not when to do it, because each conversation is different. To not waste your time reading this article, you must go out and meet people; have conversations with them. I have had tens of thousands of conversations. You do not need to have so many, but if you are to improve in any way at conversation, you must converse. Learn how diction works and what words work in what situations.
Sometimes a fancy word does well. Most times, a simple word works best. It helps to be able to say the same thing in many different ways, because different words give different vibes, even if they have similar definitions. This is where the bookworm gains an advantage You do not need to be a walking thesaurus to be a master conversationalist, but it helps.
A lot. Learn how syntax works. Words fit together in some ways well, and in other ways not so well. Most of it has to do with acoustics — what sounds better when you say it out loud? Some of it has to do with coherence — what word combination makes the most sense? Knowing how to smash and mix words together in an attractive way is the task of a writer or orator. Or a master conversationalist.
How to smooth talk like a pro
Remember, smooth is a feeling. To adapt to what another person wants to talk about, you need to be attuned to what they are feeling. Sympathy helps a lot. If you know what a person is feeling, or you feel what they are feeling, you can deliver the appropriate response. Oftentimes fear, hate, and sadness can be great topics. If the person is enjoying a topic, pursue it further.
Dive deep or dance among similar topics. You need finely tuned empathy for this, which is built in to every human brain. But empathy can also be learned. Errors include awkward moments, tense moments, miscommunications, giving offense, and otherwise poorly-articulated speech e. Eliminate these as often as possible.
This is done through the mastery of the tips. Learn more accurate words to describe your thoughts and feelings, so that you are not misunderstood. Good timing also helps avoid making people feel unnecessarily offended. A man must say what he believes.
Only experience and your personal code can determine this timing. Other times, you will unknowingly offend or make a conversation turn awkward. You must know how to recover from this.
22 awesome things to talk about with a girl – spark great conversations!
Seeing as awkward moments are inevitable, becoming comfortable with awkwardness and knowing how to quickly transition from them is important. This is how you improve every day. Unless you have zero conversations one day, you can always review a conversation and learn something from it.
Almost every conversation of mine gets at least a few minutes or a few hours of review. I go over what was conveyed between the parties involved, how communication could have been improved both on my end and theirsand how I will handle similar situations going forward.
I also anticipate future conversations of a similar nature and consider ways to improve them preemptively. I am always preparing myself for the next conversation, because my ability to communicate with those I interact with is a paramount skill.
How to smooth talk a girl into bed like hank moody
If none of those things interest you, then you will struggle to have smooth conversations. Use my tips to achieve your goals with people and women however suits you best. But if you are not genuinely curious about the hearts, minds, and souls of others, you will not achieve the greatest heights of conversation. Combine all these elements together — curiosity, transitions, error-reduction, review, language skills, etc. What you get is what I call the music of conversation. In his small town university, he went from World of Warcraft nerd to president of his fraternity in 4 years And on the way, he bedded close to 50 women.
Learn to do the same in his book King of College. To follow his life up close, follow his Instagram here.